Believe me in the morning.
It's not a lie to say I feel it,
It's not a lie to say I want,
but tonight feels just like heaven.
And heaven tends to lie.

You're an angel all at midnight,
and you have a wonderful, beautiful face,
but please believe me in the morning.
there should be truth within this place.
A thousand sighs are easy,
forever tumbles out
lips lie when bathed in moonlight
But believe me -
Believe me in the morning,
and if I say it twice:
stay.

41

41 years back and forth
Shedding it and being it all over again as if nothing has changed
Ghosts don't die, they haunt forever
The dead are dead and life repeats
High again, and down again
Up again
First recycling and cardboard, then trash and
Dishes also.
Sink first, drainboard, then sink again
The cat is hungry at the same times every day
Life is better alone and the sponge is dry
I wish I loved someone
Anyone
But I dont and I am happier that way.
The moss grows on the roof
and my acreage is peaceful
Where did I go?

Listen

Here I am digging way back
Listening to that band we saw in Charlotte in a blackbox theater only 30 of us
You are dead
By your own hand I curse your hand
You thought it was just your life
Just your pain
You were wrong you terrible ass
I remember you but as a point of weakness
We loved you and you pissed on it
Your death was in no way poetic.

2023

I bought a house.
It was by the Grace.
I care for my family, I promised them they would die here.
Not in a cold room, not surrounded by strangers.

I have a brother.
Or so blood dictated.
He lives across the street where my family, not I, wanted to be.
The chasm might as well be miles though its feet.
Nothing but feet.
I don't understand how this came to me but it did.
I paid back my debts and I gave my word.

I will never have a family.
I havent had sex in years.
But my family is safe.
My family is warm.

My parents will look into my eyes as they slip away.
My tears will mingle with our fingers as we hold hands.

I would rather this than any other outcome.

I used to think the moon told me secrets
how the future was bright and the future was mine.

I never had a chance.
The world laughed at my optimism.

This is violence
This is unknown violence.

I don't look like I thought I would
I don't have half of what I wanted.
But my family is safe,
the ones who gave me life are warm.

This was the destination after all.

I feel empty.
But my family is warm.

I am seeing too many die.

The world is full of potential, and all i want to do is watch the snow fall

Once upon a time I knew everyone that crept on the sidewalk,

now I couldn't name one face in the county.

I used to be embraced every time I walked in the door.

Days gone by, days gone by.

I don't long for the past

but I weep for the future.

This mountain of money can't buy me a connection,

success is measured with a fool's ruler.

My kingdom for one familiar face.