Blessed Union.

I watched the marching -
oh the incessant marching -
happiest day of their lives.

"oh isn't this all so lovely
and are you here for the bride
or groom?"

A stray beagle kept somehow breaking in
to the pavilion
and men in their suits
and women in their dresses
chased after the beagle,
being outsmarted at every turn by
an animal one quarter of their size.

I decided right there that I liked that
beagle and if I were him
I would be running as far away as my
legs could take me from this
whole
depressing
thing.

Well the beagle must have found better things to do
because he eventually was no more and
I was still there.
Always there.
The rock.
Hard.
Ignorant.
Rock.

The groom was permitted to kiss his bride
the first kiss of a new union
and everyone silently wondered
'chicken or fish'.

Later while in the hall, the bride and I met eyes
and she saw that I was there.
Beautiful child.
The white seemed appropriate
for someone so innocent in this world.
No one has ever been so nice to me.
She cradled me in conversation, deed,
and little arms, so strong, but so
little.

I turned her away too.

I crave a woman.
Someone to rip me apart
chew me up like food
and then expel me in the manner
that food is generally
expelled.

Anyway
I watched the bride flit about the hall
like a joyous little hummingbird,
all alight with the day's revelry.

I was hungover.

Feeling sick and
furiously drinking the free water
begging my intestines to stop
twisting.

Finally they cut the cake
and everyone stood to begin
the lonely road home.

I felt that day like I had the loneliest road of all because
this is not the first time that
a possible future has become an irrevocable past
and I feel regret not for the person
but for the happier life that I somehow once again
chose not to accept.

She'll always be there for him.

In his sickness and his health
and his inevitable infirmary.
Cooing gently as she wipes him clean.

I'm just afraid that I will die
wallowing in my own filth
with only the vultures
cooing gently and
mercilessly pecking out
my eyes.