Post Traumatic Nostalgia

I just finished watching
a movie that used to move me to tears.
It almost still does.
Everything is so nice in the end,
so simple.
Beautiful wrapping and
a bright red bow.

But then you turn it off
and turn around
and see all the crap
you should pick up off the floor.
Still don't have a job
and the rent is due.
It is gray
and the movies lie.

Where did it all go?
When did we stop forsaking
all the doldrums
to focus on the possibility of
something.
Anything.

At one point or another
we died inside.
Dying:
The last real thing to look forward to.

When did we forget that we are dying?
Forget that in light of dying
a man should get living
and find the truth
that was once so unflinchingly
important.

Tomorrow
I have to go to the store.
We need groceries.
Something has to give
before there is nothing
left.