Left and Leaving.

I've been saying a lot of goodbyes lately.
My [former] roommate,
now my roommate's former lover,
packed her things and left this
morning.
I helped her stuff her swaddled cat
gently into its carrier and
she hugged me and said
goodbye.

I was completely alone in the house
for the first time since I moved in.
It's very odd when she was the one
who got me the room in
the first place.

Ellis came by work tonight.
I haven't been so elated in months.
I stood back, got low, and opened my arms
in exaggerated preparation for our embrace.
She charged at me and threw her arms around
my neck.
It was genuine.
Being that close to someone sends lightning through
your bones.
The look in our eyes said it all:
we genuinely miss each other.
Somewhere, some place, we simply missed
the mark.
I'll settle happily for friends.
But the time came for me to leave and
I hugged her again and told her I missed her.
She said she missed me too.
We made "those" plans to get together soon.
I probably won't see her again for who knows how
long.

So we said goodbye.

I thought about how many times I have said goodbye and
how many times I will again.
To my parents,
lovers,
and friends.

We all end up alone eventually and
no one belongs to anyone else.
All we are guaranteed is death
and all of life is
borrowed
time.