A Word To The Wise

Here are the things that I would say
were I to actually dare give advice.

Don't drink.
Don't smoke.
Don't stay out later than 8 pm.
Don't break the law because they'll get you
every
time.

Don't trust women.
Don't trust men.
Don't ride the bus.
Don't give money
to
strangers.

Don't believe what you hear,
because what you hear
is
false.

Your selfish desires will kill you.
So will your best intentions.
No one is real.
Everyone is transient.
Love doesn't exist,
and if it does,
I haven't seen it
yet.

And if someone tells you that they love you
within the first two weeks
of courtship...

End transmissions, secretions, and all donations
of
fluids.