Rufus After Dark

I lay down tonight to listen
to Rufus Wainwright in the dark.

Sideways,
knees to elbows,
I wanted to
vomit.

I've been dragging the shallows
and swimming in my own
wake.

These tales are tired of me.

I throw them down the hole,
they fall and echo this and
that.

I tie them to canaries.
I tie them to my ankles
and I wade out in the water
to see if I fly
or
drown.

Alone in the dark listening to Rufus.

We don't even know what to feel anymore.
We're tired of peeling the nails from our fingers
of scooping our eyes into our cereal,
of spitting out what we're forced to swallow -
chin up
it
get's
better.

I run my tongue along your misery,
you wrap your lips around mine.
Let's do it until they kill us,
or until we kill ourselves
and fall away
to Rufus Wainwright
in the
dark.