Ever Since Clarity

Ever since clarity
I have seen my skin tighten
my joints ease their ache
my muscle return from bone
and I finally am
as I had always
been.

And I have taken
to going on very long walks
during these summer
Jersey
afternoons.

I walk and I think
and I do not think and
I
remember,
regret,
laugh,
listen,
and
dream.

Today,
the sky was clouded
grey and ominous
with a stern wind
that knew where it was going and went
there.

I walked among the trees
I touched the leaves
I felt the pavement under my feet unforgiving
and I swore I heard the waves
even though I'm quite far
from
water.

I walked through long soccer fields
devoid of sport,
under massive lightposts
taller than a half dozen me's could ever be,
and I felt the grass coarse and green
reach out and
brush my
ankles.

I sat down and the world happened all around
me
and I was so overcome with gratitude.

I saw faces and heard their names
and I reached out by phone
to thank them
for always being with me
in my
heart.

Thanked the ones who
as we've met
have transcended bodies
and felt our souls
irreversibly
entwine.

This is my greatest newfound treasure,
this is what I hold closest to my chest:
an abundance
of gratitude and
love.

I feel like I can barely be contained
inside of myself
that I need to exist as the purest utterance
of this stardust that I so imprefectly am
and lift others up higher so
that they can see beyond the horizon
without limitation,
bias,
or
pain.

I crossed the water before them
and I have built a fire on the other side
so that they can see their way across
whenever the time comes and tide comes
to lighten their boats
and likewise
heavy
burdens.

When they arrive there
I'll be waiting,
one if by land
two if by
sea.

With all that I am
all of my heart
all of
me.