Jason and Jenni split up.
I knew about her
what/who she was doing.
There aren't enough miles to silence the rumour mill.
My old way was tempted to move on it.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm not the same person that I left behind.
Being new is difficult.
I just want to get destroyed at Havanas.
It just seems so sad now.
I can never go back. I got out. To go back would be to attempt to reclaim a time that passed me by.
I feel like my friends are just beyond a transparent brick wall,
I can see them but I can't get through. I don't fit.
Its like listening to Bright Eyes or Sublime or 90s alternative.
They were moments and those moments are gone.

We as humans are in constant metamorphosis and rebirth. We are constantly reevaluating ourselves and seeking to more fully understand our intentions and ascertain our correct trajectory. Meanwhile, the trajectory is the story and we're missing it. I am missing it. The one piece of the puzzle that I feel entirely definitive in is the fact that we are meant to ease one another's suffering. As I try to move beyond this I can feel the frustrating limitations of my humanity close in and I am left as dumb and simple as before. Trying to shed old skin is spiritually painful. Denying my base nature in order to strive toward a perceived "greater good" is a constant struggle. This is one of the main differences between my current and former life. I have an awareness of a larger picture beyond my immediate mood, mindstate, or desire. I have to wonder if this will lead to an overall strengthening of my character and utility or if it will merely serve to be a small sober stopover in an otherwise wasted existence. Everything is so well mixed with fear that I can almost fail to separate the two. How foolish that we should be sprung from the unknown and yet find it so sinister. How can we be made of the infinite possibility and yet strive every moment to control every second. Fear, in my opinion is the greatest enemy of man's ability to overcome and live the subconscious ideal that he has for himself.

I am too comfortable, this comfort needs to desist or else I will be trading one prison for another.