I found a trove of my old messages.
Things I said to faces now long gone
while I was very drunk or
very
high.

Throughout my life I've often manipulated,
played the martyr,
and acted the
victim.

I preyed on people with real feelings for me
that I never once returned.
But their infatuation brought an intoxication,
and I poured it into the depthless black of my self-hatred.

I railed against a world so shallow
when I was thinner than a dime.

I admit my sins, though I arrive too late.

Our mistakes are not ours alone,
the bodies stack like towers
in our wake.

Totems that remind us
that though we are sometimes unforgivable
we are never irredeemable,
and next time
we can choose
the right thing
to
do.