Another episode of nothing at all.

I drove my Jeep out to Saxaphaw
to see The Tallest Man On Earth.
I bought tickets - apparently -
one night when I was drunk at the Clarion hotel.

My nephew came to stay with us and
he needed my room so
instead of spending time with him
and his little deaf ears
I got a drink and slummed around.

So there I am at this concert,
just me and myself as a companion,
and I couldn't get out of the car.
Something was making me nauseous about the whole thing.
I don't know if it was the crowds or
the odd location of the venue
or the smiling concertgoers
and teenagers smoking their stolen, smuggled, cigarettes
or what.
I just couldn't get out of the car.

So I drove my jeep away
and met up with those few who I still call
friend.

It strikes me that throughout my life
I have been followed, and harassed, and annoyed
by people constantly wanting to get near me.
This is an odd phenomenon
when you just want to be left alone.
I try to blend into the background
but I constantly stand out to someone.
Maybe its the height, I don't know.
They tell me I have presence and
I am dynamic.
Well that is all well and good I suppose
except I wish I could attract something
worth keeping around.
Most just want to prove they aren't intimidated or
they can stand just as tall.

I don't care about being the tallest,
I just don't want to stand alone.

7/29/2012
Six months and twelve days later.
This time last year I was warm in the bosom
of a great big apple and I didn't feel so hopelessly
lost.