How dry I am.

I thought tonight
about how I used to have long talks
over green teas
with Stephanie during Brooklyn afternoons.

She and Mike had called it quits
after two years of giving it the old
college
try.

She used to call me on the phone while
he would be in the next room
making some young thing scream
as a sweet revenge.

Then I moved out there and it had been about
six months since the whole thing happened
and she started to get that twinkle back
in her eye.

I splashed water on my face to
clean the gel from my skin and
when I opened my eyes I saw it.

It has been five months since I left.
Six since single.

I asked Stephanie at that time how she felt
and she had an uneasy easiness that was hard to
explain.
She needn't worry though, because I get it now.

I have it too.
The last stage: acceptance.
I accept that life is completely different
and it is completely random
and I have
ABSOLUTELY. NO. CONTROL.

All I can do is stay true to center.
Embrace the unknown and stay the same.

My writing is starting to look foreign to me.
I don't consider myself some great author but
my voice has changed.

Maybe its the lack of alcohol.
Maybe its the growth of spirit.

All I know is:
I miss Stephanie
and Brooklyn
and green teas
and
sublime afternoons
on the
JMZ.